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Change, Change, Go Away

Change sucks.


I've gone most of my life convincing others (and myself) that "I love change!"


Or saying "I like to think I'm adaptable, so spontaneity is something I love."


To give you the cold, hard truth: All of that is a bunch of shit.


Aside from when I still wore diapers, I have never been more full of shit than when I say these things.


There comes a time in life when we grow tired of our lies and until that point, nothing generally changes. Except, change sucks, right?


I like when the weather changes from freezing cold to invitingly warm.


I like when someone else changes my sheets for me and I don't have to jump and sprawl my 5'3" body to secure the fitted sheet onto the farthest corner of the bed (which generally ends unsuccessfully).


I like it when the stoplight changes from red to green (because I have a need for speed).


I even like when someone asks to change seats with me on a flight because the reality is that there is no such thing as a good seat on a flight (Emirates First Class excluded).


If you're on the window, you can't get up easily (but you can rest your head). If you're on the aisle, you can get up as much as you want, as long as you don't mind your elbow being taken out from under your head while you sleep every time the drink cart passes by.


The point is, these trivial changes are fine, expected, and sometimes even enjoyable.


It's the changes that we do not expect, the ones that go against our status quo and our life flow, that knock us off balance and send us into a spiral of confusion, excess chocolate consumption, and challenge.


I am a big believer that all stress is a result of something being different than what we want or expect.


Big changes are no exception to this stress.


One of the most amazing, awe-inspiring parts about life is that change is possible. Everything around us, at all times, is constantly changing. Unfortunately, this means that we too are subject to change.


So, what kind of change am I talking about?


Am I talking about the change in your pocket you thought you lost and then found? No.


After all, nobody likes to lose anything besides weight these days.


And to that point, our bodies are constantly changing too. Our hair, our face, our skin, everything physical about us. These are the types of changes I'm talking about.


Our relationships change, our jobs, our friends, our understandings of life, all of this changes.


These are the big guys, the "uh-ohs," the "I didn't want to learn another life lesson this week" kind of changes.


However, even though I am 22 and those of you reading this are a range of ages (which I am so grateful for), one of the many qualities that unite us is that we have all experienced change.


Individuals of all ages experience loss and grief.


Death plays no favorites and spares no ages.


Physical changes happen to all age groups too. Life-changing moments that alter our emotions and mental states are constantly happening to everyone, at all times.


The last three years of my life have been laden with changes. More specifically, the last six months have mentally worn me out but there's a quote that I keep going back to that my mom shared with me over a few years ago, it says: "An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it's going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming."


If you want to rearrange it, you've got to change it.


It's okay to never fall in love with change. I believe it's even okay to resist change so long as we are aware that we are doing so and can understand why. For me, I'm going to hold on and keep aiming. I can't control what happens to me but I sure as shit can control how I react.


Whether we openly talk about the changes in our lives or not, we can all find unity knowing that each of us is undergoing some kind of change, somewhere, somehow; it's are a sure fact of this wildly amazing life we live.


After all, we've been postulating the nature of change as long as we've had the consciousness to do so. 6th century Greek philosopher Heraclitus (fl. c. 500 B.C.E.) said it best: "The only constant in life is change."